Tammy and Allie
"Allie's dad and I divorced when she was 1. It was a rough time and I didn't think I'd be able to come out of it okay. The worst part was the first time I had to be without her for 2 days when she went to her dad's house. I cried all night because that was the first night that I was without her since her birth. Eventually, it gets easier, but the first few times were definitely heart-wrenching and lonely. With time on my side, I realized that it is healthy for me to have those break times away from the day-to-day.
At my lowest (and even my highest), I've contemplated counseling so that I can find the words and actions to let my daughter know that this is not a typical nuclear family and that's okay! I've told her that even though me and her dad didn't work out, that we don't love her any less. If anything, she has doubles of everything (birthday parties, holidays, homes, beds, etc)."
"At the same time, Allie's dad and I have tried to maintain a good co-parenting relationship. Don't let anyone tell you that co-parenting is easy, because it's not. We've had our share of arguments and disagreements, highs and lows. But ultimately, the key to co-parenting success is communication, understanding, and a shared realization that Allie's needs go before ours."
"When Allie was a baby, I started a private Tumblr for her so that I can share it with her when she's older. This is mostly re-blogs of positive messages and notes, personal journal entries written by me (chronicling milestones like her birth, her first steps, and the day me and her dad split), and songs that remind me of her. To this day, I find myself going back to it when I need a pick-me-up, words of advice, or even just a reminder of who I do it for."
"Some days are definitely rougher than most, but definitely worth it when I see what an amazing young woman she's turning out to be. And never forget that it definitely takes a village. I'm blessed for family and friends who have become my backbone, whose support have made me much stronger than I thought I would ever be.
Ultimately, hard times build strength, grit, and perseverance. And most days, I'm frustrated, tired, and drained. But honestly, I don't think I'd be half the mom that I am now if I didn't become a single, working mother."
"I've also realized that, at the end of the day, it's okay to want to take a break from parenting. Parenting is a tough job. It's healthy to give your partner their break as well as to take yours. If I was still married, I would probably think that I would need to be by her side 24/7. But now that Allie gets to spend a few days out of the week with her dad, I find myself relishing that time to unwind, catch my breath, grab dinner with my girlfriends, and come with a fresh perspective the next time I pick her up for Mommy + Allie Days."
"I'm determined to give Allie as many experiences and adventures as her growing mind and little feet can take, so these are some of my on-the-go staples. I like to look for backpacks that I would like to carry too since, let's be real, I'll be the one carrying it. Ha! We've currently been toting around the camo backpack with white polka dots from Herschel. There's always extra clothes, hand sanitizer (this foaming one is from Babyganics and smells like oranges), and band-aids on deck, just in case. Since Allie's tastes change so quickly, she's also always carrying different forms of entertainment from coloring books to action figures to bubble wands. Right now it's Vader's Little Princess book by Jeffrey Brown and her Little Jellycat bunny that I bought for her when I was pregnant (she's born in the year of the rabbit). Luckily, she's into a lot of the things I'm into and she's a lot older now, so we don't have to pack much."